The Outcast
by MyaZab
Summary: I am a man who likes men in a world that is determined to punish me for it. Maybe I can keep it a secret. Maybe I can be an outcast hidden in plain sight.
1. Chapter 1

I was sitting in my office in the middle of the institute, bored. I kept looking around, imagining I was somewhere else. I was dreaming about Paris, Berlin, Bali, Hawaii... But unfortunately, I was stuck here in Idris, all by myself.

I often wished I would have been born in another town, another family but it didn't matter how hard I wished. I would most certainly never be able to leave this place, my parents would never let me. They didn't want me to spread my illness, as they called it. They would not let me see my siblings who lived in New York, to afraid I would contaminate them. You probably wonder what illness I have, well I have none. I'm considered ill because I'm a boy who loves boys... But sometimes I wonder, aren't parents supposed to love their children no matter what? Support them no matter what? I knew it would not be easy, if they found out, but I would have never expected it to be this bad.

I'm constantly watched and questioned. Their favorite question is to ask when this phase of mine is going to end. I never found the courage to tell them it never would. To them my career is over, nobody will ever trust me to be a leader and run my own institute. To them I'm a broken pawn on the chess game that is the shadowhunter world. A nephilim child that got corrupted by the demons.

In order for you to understand what happened, let me take you back 8 months, to the day my parents found out.

It was a rather sunny day for November, everything seemed so peaceful almost to peaceful to last; I wish I had been wrong. I was coming back to the institute after a long and nocturnal mission with my parabatai. As I set foot in the institute I saw my parents waiting for me. They looked at me with a smile on their faces, which between you and me was never a good thing. I saw from the corner of my eye my parabatai going his separate way after seeing my parents. I knew he had his issues with them, though I never knew what they were. My father stepped forward to greet me.

"Welcome back son!" he said. "I heard the mission was quite a success."  
His voice sounded cheerful; it was so unusual. I should have known the storm was coming, but I was too tired to see it.

"Soon you'll be 21 years old and your mother and I think it's time for you to find you a wife," my father continued talking.

Before I could say something, my father took my arm and guided me to his office. I looked behind me and saw my mother following us. I'd kept my secret well hidden, nobody knew about it because I knew they wouldn't accept or understand it. I was trapped, there was no way out. My father made me sit in front of his desk, while he took his place on the other side. My mother closed the door and went to stand behind my father, watching me. I didn't know what to say, so I just waited. My father opened his upper draw and took a big folder out of it. He put it on the desk and pushed it towards me. I looked at the folder confused, I wasn't sure where this was going.

"What is this?" I asked.

"This my son is a folder with every female shadowhunter who is due to be wed this year," my father explained. "We want you to pick someone out and if you don't feel like choosing we can do it for you."

I looked up at them though I don't know why, maybe I just hoped they would tell it was a joke. I mean I always knew what I was and because of that, I knew that I could never choose someone from that folder. It was going to hurt me to marry without love but it also wasn't fair to whichever woman was stuck with me because I could never fall in love with a woman.

Seeing the struggles in my eyes, my mother came over to me, sat next to me and took my hand.

"You don't have to choose right now," she said. "We'll give a month to decide."

She took the folder with her free hand and gave it to me, then sent me to bed saying I looked tired. But I wasn't tired anymore, I was lost. I had a month to come up with a way to end this before it even started. My father only nodded his head, so I got up, folder in hand and went through the door. Once I was out of their sight, I ran as fast as I could back to my room, stormed in and threw the folder in a corner like it had burned me.

The month my parents gave me flew by and before I knew it we were in December. It was almost Christmas and I felt as trapped as the first day they'd gave me the folder, which to be honest I hadn't opened once during that month. There was no way out of this. I had turned the problem around and around in my head and I could find no solution. I was destined to marry without love. That night, I couldn't sleep since tomorrow it would be exactly a month and they would for sure want to talk to me about the wedding. With a sigh, I got up to look for the folder bringing it back to my bed. I opened it, against my pillows and start reading the profiles of the different girls.

The next morning came and I was still reading the folder though now I was at the end of it and nowhere near finding a girl that would be fit for me. I didn't think there ever would be such a girl. I closed the folder, got up and walked to the window. I stood there watching the outside world moving around. I don't know how long I stood there but at some point, someone knocked on my door, so I walked away from the window and went to answer the door. I opened it hoping it wasn't going to be my parents on the other side. It was my parabatai. I sighed with relief and let him in. He saw the folder on my bed and looked at me.

"So, you made your choice yet?" he asked.

I looked down to my feet and muttered a bitter no, because I wouldn't make a choice. If I had to marry without love, I didn't want to be the one to pick out the poor girl who would have to cope with me. He looked at me with a worry gaze.

"What's going on buddy?" my parabatai asked. "Are you alright?"

For the first time in my life, I wanted to just let everything out. I wanted to tell him that I liked boys, that I was afraid of the reaction people would have if they found out. I was afraid they would judge me, for being what I am. My parabatai came closer to me even more worried now, because I wouldn't answer.

"Hey, you know you can tell me everything," he said. "You're my parabatai, my brother whatever is going on I'm never going to abandon you or judge you. You do know that, right?"

I looked at him and what I saw in his eyes, made me trust him even more. I knew I could tell him and he wouldn't judge, he would just be there to support me. As I opened my mouth to tell him everything, someone knocked at my door and opened it without waiting. In front of me now stood my parents.

"Son would you please come with us?" asked my father.

"Yes, just let me get dressed," I replied.

"Meet us in my office," said my father. "And don't forget the folder, we have a lot to talk about.

After that they just walked out and closed the door behind them. I looked at my parabatai with a sorry gaze. He smiled at me and as he was walking towards the door he said. "Good luck buddy. We can talk later if you want"

On those words, he walked out. I picked out some clothes, got dressed, grabbed the folder and went out of my room, towards my father's office. The closer I got to the office, the more my stomach was tied in knots. I walked as slow as I could but eventually I ended up in front of my father's office. I raised my hand and knocked. I heard a casual 'come in' through the thick wooden door. I opened the door and entered the room. Both of my parents were here, my father in his chair and my mother standing behind him. My father pointed to the chair in front of them and I sat down, the folder on my lap. My father cleared his throat.

"So, have you made your choice?" he asked. "Which of those lovely ladies are we going to welcome in our family?"

I looked down at my hands, I couldn't say a word. My father was looking at me with such expectations.

"Tell me son, have you even looked at the folder we gave you?"

"Yes," I replied. "I did look at it."

"Then why aren't you showing us the girl you chose to be your wife?"

"I couldn't make a choice father," I muttered.

"And why is that?" he asked. I looked him in the eyes, took a deep breath and spoke.

"I want to be able to marry out of love," I said. "Not obligation."

I thought that saying that would make my father angry but he busted into laughter instead. My mother didn't move, speak or laugh. she was like a statue. I looked at him, confused as to what was so funny. He catched his breath and lock his eyes into mine.

"Son, love is a fairytale," he said. "It does not exist, so stop you childish behavior and pick someone!"

"I won't."

"Fine," my father replied. "Then we'll do it for you and you are going to like the person we are going to choose for you."

"I doubt that," I muttered, thinking they could not hear me.

"And why do you doubt that?" my mother asked.

I was speechless, I didn't know what to say or what to do. By the Angel, somebody help me please. That was the first prayer I ever made to the Angel and it was going to be the first of a very long list. I tried to get myself out of this mess, but I kept sinking to the bottom.

"I- I don't think, any of the girls will fit," I stammer.

"Why do you say that?" my father asked. He was getting upset as he was not getting the answers he was looking for.

"It's just a feeling," I replied.

"Feelings are for the weak and the mundanes," said my father. "And I don't recall you being a mundane son, so maybe you're just weak!"

Before I could stop myself, I said the unthinkable.

"I'm not weak! I'm just not interested!"

My parents looked at me like the thunder had struck them. Slowly my father opened his mouth.

"What do you mean 'not interested'?" he asked slowly.

It was too late to take it back at this point. I put my head in my hands and sighed. I had to tell them, the secret I was carrying around for so many years.

"I'm not interested in girls," I whispered. "I like boys…"  
At that moment, the ground under my feet and my whole life just blew up with no hope of ever being repairable though they didn't scream at me. When I look back I think I would have liked that better than the look of disgust on their faces, the ice-cold voices with which they spoke to me. They cut me out of their will and send me away to Idris that same day. They didn't let me say goodbye to my siblings or my parabatai. From that day on I was their shame, the one they never spoke of or to.

So, I've been in Idris for 7 months, being treated like a parasite, a monster, an error. Like it's my fault I am what I am, but I didn't choose that, I was born like this.

The clave sends me every now and then, to execute dangerous missions, no one else wants to do. Almost suicide missions, but I always manage to come back alive. But I've made a decision, I know they are going to send me on a mission tomorrow. I don't attend to come back.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to kill myself, I'm just going to vanish after this mission. They don't want me in their perfect world. Well fine, I don't want to be a part of it. I decided not to dream anymore of those cities; I'm going there. I decided to go and live amongst the mundanes who are at least a little more accepting of people like me. I'm done hiding. I want to live, fall in love, marry someone one day. I want to be happy and free.

If I can give a piece of advice, never hide yourself, never try to pretend just to fit in because you're going to be all alone and I'd wish that upon no one. So, go out, live your life like you want it to be. Don't be ashamed of loving men or women, shadowhunters or downworlders. It doesn't matter, just be happy with whoever makes you happy. Don't let them turn you into a pawn in their giant chess game.

Alec closed the diary. He'd found it hours ago, and hadn't been able to pull his eyes away. Now that he was done, he turned it around to see who it had belonged to, but there was no name on the book, only a date carved on the side: 1957. He couldn't believe his eyes, 60 years ago, a shadowhunter had had the same problem he was facing now. Sixty years ago, this had all happened before!

Alec took a deep breath and thought about how the author of the book was right about love. Alec knew he wasn't going to be happy following the rules of the Clave. He had to take a decision. He wanted to be happy, to be able to love whoever he chose. To hell with the Clave's rules! He looked down at the book once more, opened his backpack that was lying on the ground, put the diary inside and run out of the institute.

'Magnus, I'm coming!' thought Alec while he ran through the city toward Brooklyn and the High Warlock that was living there, Magnus Bane.

* * *

This story was Beta read by JelloDVDs.

* * *

I'd love to hear what you thought of the story, so please review or write me a PM so you can share your thoughts.

Please also let me know, if you would be interested to see what could happen between Alec and Magnus. I could make this story a two-shot in that case.


	2. Chapter 2

Magnus missed Alec, but he respected his choice to follow the rules from the Clave even though he didn't completely understand them. Alec was young after all and Magnus was trying, and failing, to be okay with it.

What Magnus didn't know was that at this very moment, Alec was on his way and about to throw those rules out for good.

Alec arrived at Magnus's place. It was a red building made from brick just like in the old days. He had an intercom to match with the current century but Magnus being who he is, his door did not have the look of a usual door. It was a double door, with two handles side by side. On each side of the door, Alec could see door knockers in the shape of lion heads made of steel and painted gold. Alec catch his breath then pulled his thoughts together and rang the bell. A yelling voice came out the intercom:

"Who dares to call upon the High Warlock of Brooklyn?"

Alec wasn't impressed by this welcome message any more, having heard it in the past. He simply replied: "It's Alec." Nothing more nothing less. He hoped that might be enough for the warlock to open his door since it had been before. He was wrong since Magnus instead of opening the door, talked to him through the intercom:

"Alec, what are you doing here?" Magnus asked.

"I want to talk to you Magnus," Alec spoke into the intercom. "Please open the door."

"I don't think there is anything you could say that I want to hear Alexander," Magnus replied. "Go home."

Magnus didn't want Alec to go away, but he couldn't let him come up to his apartment either. Alec had no idea of the power he held over the warlock.

Alec didn't let himself be discourage. Even though Magnus had told him to go, Alec had to tell him why he came here for, one way or another. He didn't care if he had to stay all night long talking through an intercom.

"I'm not going anywhere until we had a chance to talk," Alec said. "I'm willing to stay here all night if I have to Magnus."

Since Magnus wasn't answering anymore, Alec decided to try a different tactic. He took his backpack off, grabbed the diary he had placed inside, opened it and read the section of it that had changed his mind.

"If I can give a piece of advice, never hide yourself, never try to pretend just to fit in because you're going to be all alone and I'd wish that upon no one. So, go out, live your life like you want it to be. Don't be ashamed of loving men or women, shadowhunters or downworlders. It doesn't matter, just be happy with whoever makes you happy," read Alec.

"What I just said comes from a diary I found this morning, I want you to know I agree with what it says. I should have figured it out a long time ago but I was too scared. I know better now, I know I made a mistake, a huge one and I hurt you in the process. I never wanted that, you have to believe me. Please Magnus, let me in."

The door buzzed, meaning that Magnus had opened it. Alec rushed inside without hesitation and ran up the stairs to Magnus's loft.

The front door was half-open already, Alec let himself in and closed the door. He put his backpack down, took off his jacket and throw it aside. He still had the diary in his hand. He kept it as he moved forward into the apartment, in case Magnus would like to see it.

Alec entered the living room, expecting to see Magnus in there, but he was not there. Alec looked everywhere in the loft, but the warlock was nowhere to be found.

"Magnus? Where are you?" called Alec. "Why did you let me in if you don't want to talk to me?"

Alec was confused; he didn't know what to do. Was he too late? Maybe Magnus was so disappointed that Alec couldn't understand, that he decided to give up. But why let Alec in, if Magnus wasn't even there?

Alec went back into the living room, sat down on the couch and put the diary down next to him. He looked around trying to find out where Magnus was. The living room was a big open space, decorated with taste. On the floor, there was a vast oriental carpet, one of the walls was covered in plants, each more exotic than the other. Alec could see cactus, ivy, suma, chamomile, laurel and there were much more like marigold, cinnamon, peppermint and even lavender. He didn't even know a quarter of the plants that were growing on that wall. The couch on which Alec was sitting was so big it took up a large portion of the space. The curtains were deep red, going from the ceiling to the ground. As he looked at the curtains, Alec noticed the balcony window was open. He stood up, went to the window, looked out and there he saw Magnus standing on the balcony. Relieved Alec stepped outside to join Magnus.

They were now standing next to each other, but neither of them spoke a word, as they looked out at the city. Alec didn't know how long they stood in silence. He had rehearsed in his head what he wanted to say to Magnus, but he could not get a word out of his mouth now that the warlock was standing in front of him. Magnus sighed.

"You said you wanted to talk, so talk or leave. It's up to you," said Magnus before he headed back inside.

Alec was stunned. He hadn't expected that coming from Magnus. He was now more than ever sure that he had hurt the warlock by making all those bad decisions and pushing him away like he did. He didn't want to leave before he had said everything he had in his heart, so he followed Magnus inside the loft.

"I'm sorry Magnus," started Alec.

Before he could continue Magnus laughed bitterly then said, "You're gonna have to come up with something better than that Alexander."

Once more, Magnus wasn't looking at Alec but rather walking away. Alec needed to do this face to face, so before Magnus could take one more step Alec took him by the arm and pinned him to the nearest wall.

Magnus looked confused and opened his mouth to tell Alec to let him go, but Alec didn't let Magnus speak. Instead Alec covered the warlock's lips with his own. Magnus succumbed to the kiss as Alec's body pinned him to the wall. All Alec wanted to do was to tell this man how he felt, but words weren't his strength so Alec poured his heart into their kiss. Their lips moved together and they were pressed so tightly together as to not even leave a inch between them. Magnus locked his arms around Alec's neck. Alec licked Magnus's lip to deepened the kiss, their tongues danced together for a while and after what seemed like an eternity, Alec pulled away. Magnus looked dazed by the kiss, but Alec didn't want to risk anything so he held the warlock against the wall as he spoke.

"Now that I have your attention," Alec said. "I know I'm not- I mean that words aren't my strength, but there are things I need to tell you." Alec took a deep breath then plunged forward. "Pushing you away like that, hurting you by distancing myself. I know it was wrong. I know it but Magnus I love you and I want to fix us. I want there to be hope for us. I should have told you how I felt before but I was scared, no I was a coward, a coward for following such stupid rules." He paused his tone softening. "Though I was also scared of myself… I can't think clearly when I'm around you… whenever I see you my heart beats so fast I think it wants to escape my chest to get to you…"

Alec locked his eyes with Magnus's. His eyes had no match. They were unique a mix of gold and green, but that wasn't all they were. His eyes were shaped like those of a cat, shaped like almonds. They were so expressive. Alec could see the love Magnus had for him but also the pain he had caused him and he couldn't bear to see this feeling in the beautiful eyes of the man he loved.

"Magnus," Alec breathed. "You have taken over my life... no that isn't what I mean. It's like I've been blinded and everything save for you is darkness. You are the brightest star in my sky."

Finally, Alec had said everything he wanted to and now he was just waiting to see how Magnus would react. He was scared to be send away after all he said, after opening up like he had.

Magnus was looking at Alec, with those intelligent eyes, probably trying to find a sign that would tell him, Alec still had doubts, but Alec knew all he'd find is love. Magnus allowed a smile to spread on his face and laughed quietly.

"You never cease to amaze me, Alec," whispered Magnus.

Alec took a step back, grabbed Magnus's hand and pulled him to the couch. He sat down on it and made Magnus sit on his lap. In that moment, he didn't care if this position was awkward or not, he just needed to feel Magnus close to him. He locked his eyes with Magnus's and in those eyes, he saw love but also doubt. Magnus still doubted him. Alec was sure Magnus wanted to believe him but there was clearly a part of him that just could not let go of his fear of being pushed aside again. Magnus remained quiet and Alec knew he had to explain it better. Alec had to communicate the depth of his emotions and wipe the doubt from his lover's eyes. He had to start at the beginning, explain how he'd found the diary, what was inside it and how it had changed his mind. Alec took a deep breath, kept his eyes locked with Magnus's and started to speak.

"This morning I was in the library of the Institute, looking for information's about the Accords, when I found a little brown book hidden in the back of a top shelf. I took it out and opened it," Alec said. "It turned out to be a diary. I turned a few pages absently and was about to put it back when something caught my eye. It was a sentence almost at the end of the journal, and it went 'I'm a boy who loves boys.' I could not believe what I'd just read. I didn't put the diary down until I was done reading it cover to cover."

Alec stopped for a few seconds to gather his thoughts, before continuing.

"What does a diary have to do with all this?" asked Magnus.

"I'm getting to it, just give a second please," answered Alec.

Alec thought it would be easier if he could just show Magnus the journal, but he had no idea where he had put it in his rush to get to Magnus on the balcony. He turned his head and spotted the diary lying at the other end of the couch. He didn't want to get up; he didn't want to leave Magnus's side so he pointed out his finger towards it.

"I brought it with me, so you could see it. It's right there look," said Alec.

Magnus looked in the direction Alec was pointing and saw the little book. With a snap of his fingers the diary appeared in his hand. Magnus examined the journal, turning it over in his hands, and saw the date carved on the side.

"I still don't understand where this is going," said Magnus. "It's just an old diary."

"No," said Alec while shaking his head. "It's not just any old diary. This belonged to a shadowhunter. A gay shadowhunter from 60 years ago. In this diary he tells his story, the struggles he went through, how his parents discovered his secret and what happened after they found out. You remember what I told you through the intercom earlier?"

Magnus nodded.

"It was the passage from the diary that got me thinking about the future. Not just mine, but ours. The one we could have together. He is right, we should not have to hid. I don't know how to say this so…" whispered Alec before taking a deep breath and continuing. "If you had asked me 6 months ago, what I saw in my future I wouldn't have known what to say but ask me what I see now."

"What do you see Alexander?" asked Magnus. Before answering Alec kissed Magnus softly and whispered against his lips.

"You, I can only see you Magnus Bane," Alec whispered. "You are my future."

Magnus wasn't expecting such an answer. He felt so much love coming from Alec. He loved his blue-eyed boy so much and for so many reasons. The way Alec make him feel was like no other. As far as Magnus could remember he had never loved someone as much as he loved Alexander. Even after all that Magnus had to ask him a final question. He needed to be sure.

"What about the Clave, the rules, your parents?" asked Magnus.

"To hell with all that." answered Alec.

Magnus smiled at Alec and leaned forward. He approached his mouth from the side, gently nibbling his earlobe, before whispering.

"I love you too Alexander Lightwood."

At this moment, Alec knew everything was going to be alright. He knew that nothing could break them apart. They would face and destroy every obstacle that they would find on their way. Alec was, in this moment, the happiest man alive. He put his hand on Magnus's check and kissed him, pulling him closer in the process. Magnus put his arms around Alec's neck and deepened the kiss.

In that moment, nothing mattered outside their bubble. The world could have caved in around them and they wouldn't even have noticed it. When they came up for air, Magnus stood up, took Alec's hand and led him to his bedroom. Once inside, he pushed Alec on the bed, before capturing his lips again for another passionate kiss.

After a few more kisses, Magnus took Alec in his arms and hold him tight against his chest. They didn't talk since their eyes were talking for them, showing all the love they had for each other.

"I wonder who wrote the diary," said Alec after a while.

"We'll find out, love, I promise you," answered Magnus.

* * *

This story was Beta read by JelloDVDS.

* * *

I'd love to hear what you thought of the story, so please review or write me a PM so you can share your thoughts.

I want to thank JelloDVDs for everything she did for me and also a special thanks to Rosycat. You both got me out of my writers block, when I didn't know how to continue my story. Please everyone, go and read their stories, they are amazing.


	3. Chapter 3

The question of who wrote the diary was hanging in the air, and Alec wanted the answer. He wanted a chance to talk to his fellow gay Shadowhunter about what life has been like after he left. But Alec didn't even know if that person was still alive. Even so he wanted to find the author. Alec felt connected to this mysterious Shadowhunter. He couldn't help but think about how it could have been him. He had always been so afraid of people's reaction if they ever found out he was gay. Alec had once thought, they would have reacted like they did with the author and cast him out. He knew differently now that he had Magnus at his side. Alec cared less about their reactions, because he was happy. Magnus made him happy. Alec was more than just glad he had followed his heart that day and drop everything to proclaimed his love to his amazing warlock.

His… this word felt so strangely satisfying to Alec. They had confessed their love for each other, but never really talked about what would happen next. A month had passed since his declaration and he was spending more and more time with Magnus, sometimes even staying overnight. At the very least, Alec assumed they were dating.

Speaking of Magnus, Alec was on his way to see him now. Passing by a flower shop, Alec spotted a bouquet that reminded Alec of him and Magnus. Without a second thought, he entered the little boutique to see the bouquet up close. It was perfect, composed of blue roses and intertwined with them were a few roses that were covered in glitter. It suited their relationship so well because, it was like the pair they formed, Alec with his modest and simple attitude and Magnus with his glitter and astonishing looks. And the flowers were blue, which was Magnus' favorite colour.

Alec walked up to the counter and waited for someone to come to him. He waited only a few minutes, before a woman come through a closed door. She spotted Alec, looking surprised to see him standing there, but she quickly made her way towards him.

"Good morning, how may I help you, Sir?" the woman greeted him. According to her name tag, she was Elise.

"Good morning. I would like to buy one of your flower arrangement," Alec replied.

The woman opened her eyes wide in surprise, but then a warm smile spread across her face. She seemed astonished but genuinely happy.

"Why do you look so surprised?" Alec asked.

"It's not very often that new people come in here to buy our flowers. We're a small boutique most citizen just pass right in front of us without seeing the shop," Elise began. "When people come in, they usually just ask for direction. The shop has been in my family for generations, same as the building we're in."

"Well I didn't came in to ask for direction," Alec answered.

"Did one already catch your eye? Or do you need some time to make your choice?" she asked softly.

"The blue one, right there," Alec said pointing at the bouquet he wanted. The florist turned around, looked at the flower arrangement Alec was talking about and turned back to him.

"If I may ask, why this one?" she wondered.

"It reminds me of someone," Alec replied.

"A special someone?" Elise inquired.

"Yes, a very special someone," Alec agreed.

The florist took the bouquet of blue roses and put it on the counter.

"Do you want a special wrapping for it?"

"No, a simple one will do thank you," Alec said.

She cut the end of the flowers, took out some transparent paper and wrapped them. Alec's eyes followed her every move. Once the florist was done, she looked up at him, and handed him the flowers before moving to the register machine.

"What about this one made you think of that special someone?" Elise asked as she rang him through.

"I can't explain it," Alec began. "It just suits us somehow. Classic yet original."

"That's beautiful," Elise replied as Alec paid. She thanked him and wished him a good day before Alec left the store.

Hurrying to get to Magnus, Alec walked quickly down the street. He spotted the well-known building a few minutes later and slowed down, making sure the bouquet was still intact. Magnus had given him his key back shortly after they got back together.

"Magnus, I'm home," Alec called as he unlocked the door and entered the loft, the bouquet hidden behind his back.

"In my office, Alexander," Magnus called. Alec followed his voice down the hall and saw his favourite warlock sitting at his desk. Magnus turned as he entered the room. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, not that I'm complaining."

Alec took out the flowers so Magnus could see them. The warlock's lips broke into a glorious smile as he stood up and moved to take Alec and the bouquet into his arms, planting a light kiss on his lover's lips. Magnus took the flowers from Alec and with a snap of his fingers produced a vase for them.

"They are beautiful," Magnus whispered.

"They reminded me of us," Alec explained. Magnus leaned forward and kissed Alec again before placing the vase on his desk and turning to speak.

"Simple yet sparkly, like our relationship," Magnus cheered. Alec just laughed at Magnus's words, because he had said the exact same thing to Elise no less than 30 minutes ago.

"I'm glad you like them," Alec said. Then Alec spotted the diary on Magnus's desk and looked up at Magnus wondering what he was doing with it. Magnus followed his gaze and picked the little book up.

"I wanted to read it entirely, I hope you don't mind," Magnus explained.

"No, not at all," Alec began. "So what have you been up to all day apart from reading?"

Magnus ignored Alec's question, conjured up a vase for the bouquet and set it on his desk. While rearranging the flowers to his liking, Magnus spoke.

"How would you feel about taking a sabbatical leave from the Institute for a while?"

Alec taken by surprise at the question, didn't know how to answer so he inquired, "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering Alec, that's all," Magnus replied, still arranging the flowers.

"Well, I don't even know if that's possible, so there's that for starters, and I don't see why I should take a sabbatical, I mean there aren't many hunters at the Institute and leaving would throw the whole thing off balance," Alec rambled, watching Magnus change the positions of the flowers.

"If I told you it was possible, would you take a sabbatical?" Magnus asked, turning around to look at Alec.

"Why do you keep asking?" Alec sapped back, beginning to feel slightly annoyed by Magnus' strange questions.

"Hey, hey calm down Shadowhunter, it's just a simple question. Would you or would you not take a sabbatical if you had the chance?" Magnus pressed, wanting an answer to his question.

"Why is this so…" Alec began before catching his boyfriend's eye and sighing. "Yes, I guess I'd take it. Now would you tell me what this is all about?"

Magnus smiled at him, turned around, cast a spell on the flowers before facing Alec once again his smile still in place.

"Well, then you should get back to the Institute to pack, because you and I are going on a vacation. It's all settled with the Head of the Institute, they won't be needing you for the next few weeks and I told them we'd be reachable the whole time we're gone so they could call us in case of an emergency," Magnus said.

Alec didn't have time to respond, before Magnus disappeared into his room closing the door behind him. He heard Magnus walking around behind the closed door Sighing, Alec conceded defeat. He knew he wouldn't get any answers from his boyfriend just yet. Before leaving, Alec asked one last question.

"What kind of clothes do I need to pack? Can you at least tell me that?"

"It doesn't matter, if they're not appropriate I'll change them with magic," Magnus answered, his voice muffled by the closed door.

"Great…," Alec mumbled before raising his voice. "I'm going back to the Institute to pack then."

"I'll come pick you up in 2 hours sweet pea," Magnus informed him, his voice still muffled by the closed bedroom door.

As Alec made his way back to the Institute, he couldn't help but wonder how Magnus had managed to get him some time off like that. And to top it all off, it was an unspecified period of time, meaning he could be gone for months.

Magnus had a plan. He wasn't wisking Alec off on an extended vacation for no reason. This plan had first formed in his mind as Magnus had read the complete contents of the dairy that had so affected Alec. He'd just been going about his day, minding his own business when he'd seen it sitting there and picked it up, his curiosity getting the better of him. And once he'd finished reading it, had understood the curiosity that was eating at Alec. Who was this man? Was he still alive? Where and how did he live after his departure? Did people mourn him? Or did they simply forgot him?

Magnus was trying to figure out the answers to those questions and the answer to the most important question of all: How can we find him?

All the sudden it came to him, the man had talked about visiting some places, Bali, Paris, Berlin and Hawaii to name a few, so what if he went to those places? Somebody would have noticed a lone Shadowhunter right? He could go investigate in those cities and the others mentioned all across the dairy, to find him.

Magnus had been thinking about taking some time off for a while. There were other powerful warlocks in New York, surely the Shadow World could do without him for a while. The problem was that he wanted Alec to tag along, but how could he convince the head of the Institute aka Robert Lightwood aka Alec's dad to let him go? And he would have to convince Maryse too...

He tried to figure out, but came up empty. Magnus was about to abandon the idea all together, when it suddenly came to him.

"Of course! That's it!" he shouted into the empty room, before creating a portal and landing in front of the Institute.

Magnus entered the building and made his way to Robert's office, there weren't many people around so no one asked him what he was doing here.

He knocked on the door and was invited to enter. Magnus pushed the wooden door and closed it behind him. Robert was seated at his desk looking over some files. Maryse was on the couch in the corner of the room, a book in hand.

"Magnus, what are you doing here?" Robert asked, very surprised to see the High Warlock of Brooklyn at the Institute.

"Robert, Maryse, I'm here to discuss your son", Magnus tried to contain himself and not just blurt out his demand.

"What is it? Is Alec okay?" Maryse asked from the couch she was sitting on.

"Yes, yes, nothing to worry about," Magnus reassured her.

"If he's fine, why do you want to talk about him?" Robert asked, his wife nodding in agreement.

"He is fine physically, but emotionally… well he's got something on his mind and-," Magnus began, seeing that Maryse wanted to say something, he lifted his hand and added. "Please, let me finish before you say anything."

Both Lightwoods nodded in agreement and Robert by a sign of the hand invited Magnus to continue to speak.

"So, mentally he isn't so fine, even if he acts like he is I know that the last weeks have been very hard on him. Ever since it came out that he's gay, he's been treated differently and it's affected him greatly. Both of you, Izzy, Max, Jace and Clary have been a tremendous support to him, but I think he needs some time off. And by time off, I mean he needs to get out of the Institute for a while, at least until people have swallowed the pill about him being gay and dating me. They will probably never be completely understanding but for the most part they'll come around eventually. I know that it isn't a practice used by many Shadowhunters, but I really think that some time off could help him get better. View it as some kind of sabbatical,", Magnus explained.

Robert and Maryse looked at each other, having some kind of silent conversations, only people who had known each other a long time could have. After a few minutes, that felt like hours to Magnus, they turned to him and Robert began to speak.

"We have indeed seen that Alec wasn't his usual self these past few weeks and we agree with you, some time off, away from the Clave and the Institute will probably do him good. But how long are we talking about here? A few days? A few weeks?"

"More like a few months, Robert," Magnus answered softly. "This kind of pain doesn't go away easily, but I promise I'll make him call you every night and I'll make sure we're reachable so if you need us we could come home immediately."

"I'm sure you will take care of him, Magnus," Maryse said with a soft smile on her lips. "I want my son to be happy and I know that right now he is not. If I can do anything to help him get better I will. No matter how long he'll need to heal..."

"So it's a yes?" Magnus asked, uncertainty burning inside of him.

"Yes it is Magnus. I, Robert Lightwood, autorise Alexander Lightwood to take sabbatical leave from the New York Institute for as long as needed," Robert declared solemnly.

A huge smile spread across Magnus' face and he got up to leave the room, after having talked some more with the Lightwood parents.

On his way back to the apartment he texted Alec: 'Sweet pea, it's been a while since I last saw you. Can you come and see me today?'

Alec's answer came in seconds later: 'Sure, when do you want me to be there?'

'In an hour would be perfect. ;)' Magnus texted back.

'I'll be there,' Alec replied.

Now all Magnus has to do was convince Alec to come with him without disclosing any major informations about where they were actually going. He had to communicate that the Institute was on board with his plan but knowing Alec, he would also have to make sure they were available in case of an emergency. Alec may not know it himself but he needed some time off and Magnus was prepared to do whatever it took for him to agree to the trip.

The two hours had flown by in no time. Alec and Magnus were now standing in an alley of New York City, located not far away from the Institute. Their luggages had been shrunk by Magnus and could now be carried in Alec's pocket.

"Will you tell me where we are going Magnus?" Alec asked.

"No I won't. You'll know when the time comes," Magnus replied before creating a portal.

They went through the portal together, hand in hand. When they emerged it was in a place unknown to Alec.

Magnus let go of his hand, stretched out his arms and turned to look at his boyfriend.

"Welcome to Bali, Alexander Lightwood."

"Bali? Why Bali?" Alec asked, looking very confused.

"Bali is one of the cities the author mentioned, so I thought we could begin the search to find this mysterious author here," Magnus replied, taking Alec's hand into his own and dragged him away before he could protest.

* * *

Author's note:

A huge thank you to my beta Writesalott!

I'm so sorry it took me almost a year to update this story. Life got in the way of writing. I do hope you'll enjoy it. Please tell me what your thought are and what your theories are about the author's identity.


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